As I lay here trying to figure out what exactly is on my mind, I realize that I am reflecting on the unknown.
In less than a week I will be leaving my bubble and comfort zone to a whole new place for four months. To some that may seem crazy and intimidating but for some odd reason I find comfort in it. Am I nervous? Yes, of course! Who wouldn’t be. Leaving behind everyone and everything and starting over and creating a new life for a few months in a whole new continent and country….a little scary to say the least.
As I think about everything that I’ll be missing from home (like special moments in the lives of my loved ones to home cooked meal to my doctors to knowing who and where to go to on campus etc.) it makes me feel a little heart broken and homesick. However, I’ve always been one to enjoy time alone. I’m a loner. So going away on my own, to my own dorm abroad will allow me to connect with myself again.
As I think back to these past years, especially the last 2, I feel as though I’ve really lost touch with who I really am. Certain events have made me become the person I always told myself I wouldn’t want to become . I became weak, frightened and overall just skeptical about everyone and everything. But I know that’s not who I am at all. Time away from everything and everyone I know will be good for my mind, body and soul.
Sometimes it takes being away, in a new place with new people to truly become one with yourself again while also finding yourself, new parts of yourself that you’ve never uncovered. As the years go by I have evolved. Although I’ve lost parts of who I am I have also gained and grown into the young woman I’ve always wanted to become.
The uncertain and the unknown brings a sense of relief. You learn to take things as they are.